It's a good thing they're cute.....

Some days are joyous and I wouldn't change a thing.  Some days are difficult and after the day is over, I regret how I handled myself in certain situations.  Today was one of the latter.  I know I can't be the only parent to two toddlers who cop MAJOR attitudes MULTIPLE times a day.  However, I think other parents probably handle themselves/their children much better than I do.  Even though my boys tell me they love me and kiss me every night before bed, I can't help but feel bad for how I handled myself at times during the day.  Days like today I feel like all I've done all day is yell or reprimand the boys for things they know better about or  deal with frustrating grunts from them.  I love being a mother, don't get me wrong; it's just days like today I feel like I'm not "mommy material" and I fail as a parent.  It's a good thing these days are not frequent, but it doesn't make it hurt any less :(

Surgery for B on the horizon

So B will be having major back surgery on 2/2.  While I'm still recovering from foot surgery from November, I'm petrified of having B have his surgery.  It's a spinal fusion, which I know is  necessary for the amount of pain he's been in lately.  Plus, at 32, he shouldn't have to be living in pain and not be able to wrestle around with his boys in pain.  It's been tough to watch, but we know it needs to be done.  I'll have to take over all household duties, care 100% primarily for N & D and it all just feels a little overwhelming.  I mean heck, single moms do this all the time, but it doesn't make it any less stressful/difficult to accept.  I know B will be back to a "normal" state in 5-6 mos, but I have a fear that the surgery won't work or that he'll reinjure himself.  B's very stubborn and particular about things, so telling him to slack off on EVERYTHING for an extended period of time will be hard.  I want him to follow doctor's orders but I fear his OCD will get the better of him and he will have done the surgery in vain.  Please keep B (and the rest of our family) in your thoughts and prayers....we'll need them!

Welcome to the blogging world

So I had a blog 3 years ago when I was pregnant with N....it fell by the wayside.  I decided to start blogging again as a means to express myself or just have friends/family keep up with what's going on in the S household.  I'm not sure how frequent/detailed I'll make my postings, but I'm a talker so I'm sure it'll be a busy blog!